Lucy and the Mertz's go to Hawaii
by Sand n' Sable
Summary: Ricky ruined Lucy and the Mertz's chance for a free trip to  Hawaii now  he's  paying for it, will he still pay  once they get there? He bought Lucy didn't he?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N-Do you remember the episode 'Females are Fabulous'? I think that's the title Lucy had gone on a radio show to try and get herself and the Mertz's to Hawaii. I thought it was mean that Ricky messed up their chances. This is how I think it might have gone if they went to there.**

_'Finally!' _thought Lucy as she sat in a plane headed for Hawaii along with her husband Ricky and her best friends, the Metrz's. She had done quite a bit of talking but had finally convinced her husband to buy plane tickets for her self and Ethel and Fred after Ricky had messed their chances up on _'Females are Fabulous'. _Guilt was a wonderful thing!

Ethel had been afraid of flying a bit at first but when she found out that they give you meals on the plane, well….that feeling didn't last long. Fred was calm since he knew it was a free trip.

Lucy had laid her head back and was trying to take a peaceful nap beside her handsome husband when the plane hit turbulence. She popped her big blue eyes opened and she asked in a panicked voice,

"What's that!"

Ricky looked over at her and said,

"Don't worry, it was just a little turbulence." "Oh, okay"

If Ricky said not to worry then she wouldn't, after all….they hit turbulence again and she asked,

"What's that?"

Ricky smiled and said,

"It's just some more turbulence, don't worry, it happens quite a bit in these flights"

Lucy was trying to remain calm when a stewardess came out and she said,

"There's nothing to worry about people, the plane is having a little trouble in these winds"

A big turbulence hits the plane and Lucy screams and jumps on Ricky causing Ethel to

Jump on Fred and after she did that, everyone else besides Ricky and Fred, jumped to the same stage of panic. The stewardess and several others come out and they try to calm panic that spread like dominoes.

{

Later, Lucy and Ricky go into their beautiful Hawaiian room. One wall is painted with palm trees swaying on it a big picture window showing the ocean and Lucy squeals like a little girl and says,

"Oh Ricky! Isn't it just dreamy! It's beautiful!"

He picks up a piece of paper off the coffee table and looks at it and Lucy asks,

"What's that?"

Ricky looks at her and says,

"It's my schedule for the day, my manager left it here when he got me these rooms"

Her face falls in dejection and she says,

"Are you going to be busy all day?"

He says without even looking at her,

"Yes, I'm afraid so"

Her face falls even more and he looks up at her then says,

"Now Lucy, before we came and even on the plane, I told you how busy I was going to be and wouldn't have time for sightseeing and such"

She walks around the room and says,

"I know, but I was just hoping…you are not still mad over that little thing on the plane, are you?"

He looks at her with his hard black eyes then says,

"No, No, what you did is perfectly normal for a person who has never flown…."

She smiles but then he says,

"What is _not_ normal is for everybody else to suddenly panic like you! It was like a game of Lucy dominoes!"

She makes a 'Ohhh' sound then Ethel and Fred come in and Lucy asks them,

"How is your room Ethel?" "Oh, it's a grand room, just like this one!"

Lucy then says,

"That's good since we'll be staying the night"

Ricky looks at her and says,

"Just tonight Lucy, don't get any ideas"

She says,

"Ohhh, don't worry"

Ethel then says,

"Well, since we got just today and tonight, let's get started sightseeing, what should we do first?"

Lucy walks around then Fred says,

"I say we go to the beaches first"

Ethel then says,

"Oh, I want to go for a boat ride"

Ricky stands up and says,

"I better get going, I got a lot to do today"

Lucy says,

"Okay Sweetie"

They share a quick kiss and Ricky leaves then Ethel asks her,

"Well, what do you say Lucy?"

She thinks on that then picks up a pamphlet and says,

"I say we go see a volcano"

Ethel starts to agree then she and Fred say together,

"A _**volcano!**_"

Lucy looks innocent at them as she holds the pamphlet.


	2. Chapter 2 The Tour

**A/N-Yippee! I got reviews! I got reviews on this story! Read and enjoy! **

Ethel and Fred couldn't believe their ears, did she really say _'Let's go see a volcano?' Volcano's erupt!' _Ethel asked her best friend,

"What are you talking about Lucy? A volcano?"

Lucy waved them off and said,

"Oh, calm down. It'll be on a boat, see I picked up this pamphlet in the lobby. It will be a good six and a half miles from the nearest active volcano, it will be perfectly safe! Besides we'll also be on a boat and we'll see all the beaches and decide which ones we want to go to!"

Ethel and Fred look at each other and Fred shrugs his shoulders and Ethel says,

"Okay! Let's go then!"

{

A few hours later, they are on a boat slowly going around the island and Ethel breathes in the sea air and she says,

"Oh, Lucy! This is a grand idea!"

Lucy smiles and says,

"Sure! Just smell that sea air! And think of the sights we get to see!"

Fred is looking at a island full of women, blond and brunette's wearing the fashionable bikini's and tight one pieces of that day. Most are sunbathing but some are walking and playing volleyball and Fred says,

"Yeah, this was a great idea Lucy!"

Lucy and Ethel roll their eyes and Fred stands up on his tiptoes and yells,

"Aloha girls!"

Ethel goes over to him and says,

"Honestly! You are embarrassing yourself! Go over there!"

She points to Lucy and he acts like a caught schoolboy sulking and Lucy giggles and shakes her head.

One of the tour guides come over and clears his voice and holds up a large picture and says,

"This picture I'm going to hand around is a picture of that volcano, * _Hinelu_ which means _Fire from Mountain' _This picture is the earliest known picture of that volcano erupting. Please be careful when handling the picture"

He passes around a black and white picture of the volcano erupting. Great billows of smoke come out that turn into wisps in the sky line, it also shows lines of smoldering hot lava coming down.

Ethel shivers at just the sight and Lucy asks, "Does anybody know how many people were killed by the volcano at that eruption?"

The tour guide thinks then says,

"Well, the volcano is too far away for anybody to be killed by the lava but five villages were destroyed by the ashes"

Ethel gasps and everybody goes quiet and the guide continues the tour.

[

They come to a volcano, actually dock on the island and the guide ties off the boat and Lucy asks,

"We are coming here?"

The guide says,

"Don't worry, this is*** Hualai, it is inactive. It's perfectly safe"

Lucy looks at Ethel and Fred and they all just shrug their shoulders and follow the guide.

He takes them in a tunnel and through a maze of different ones, all telling the people about the volcano and other information about the island. Then they come to a place where there is a 'handle' in the wall. It has flat rocks all around it and Lucy asks,

"What's this?"

The guide and other people come and he says,

"I was going to come to this after I finish over there but I will go ahead. The first king of Hawaii ** _**King Kamehameha**_ is said to have put those rock slabs around it, to protect it and to be sure that people see it. Legend says that if you touch it, Hualai will erupt"

He turns and says, "Follow me people"

Everybody goes and Ethel turns to go and she notices Lucy is not and she turns back and asks,

"Lucy, why aren't you coming?"

Lucy then says,

"He says that if you touch this, this volcano will erupt?"

Ethel shakes her head and says,

"That's the legend. Let's go Lucy"

Lucy looks at the 'handle' and like a child in a china shop, she touches it and Ethel says,

"Lucy!"

They wait a few minutes and no sound and Lucy says, "See? Nothing happened. Let's go"

[

The tour ends and they go back to the main island and get off the boat and the guide turns to them and says,

"Well, that's it folks. Enjoy your stay on the island. Aloha."

Everybody starts to go their separate ways when that volcano they were just at erupts in a violent way and the guide says,

"Wow! That volcano hasn't erupted in at least 50 something years! I wonder why now?"

Ethel turns to Lucy and looks at her hard and taps her foot while Lucy just twists and turns and tries to smile.

Everybody else just takes pictures.

* **I don't know if there really is a volcano named Hinelu, that is my creation.**

**** Hualai really is a volcano on Hawaii and is still inactive as far as I know.**

***** King Kamehmeha was really the first king.**

**What does Lucy do next? Read and find out in a few days!**


	3. Chapter 3 Black Sand

**A/N-Okay, it's been more than a couple of days, I apologize!**

**Now, surly you guys knew that with Lucy and Ethel and Fred on the island**

**of where they was going to go. ( Hint, look at my name and profile pic )**

**Read and enjoy.**

Lucy and Ethel had got Fred away from the volcano with ease, Lucy kept looking back at the volcano that was erupting with much gusto but according to the guide wasn't doing as bad as it has in the past so they assured everybody there was nothing to worry about.

The trio then got on a bus and headed over to the other part of the island and they were looking at pamphlets of beaches and deciding which one to go to when Lucy said,

"Let's go to this one"

Ethel looks at her and asks,

"Why should we go to that one?"

Lucy explains,

"Because this is what is called the _Black Sandy beach of Hawaii. _I just think we should because it's closer to the club where Ricky is and the hotel, the others are all across the island. I would like to also, but we don't have time to go all over"

Ethel looks at Fred and says,

"That's true…okay, let's go"

Fred then says,

"What a minute Lucy, do you think it's safe to go tracing about with that volcano spurting?"

Lucy starts to say something when a male voice comes over the speaker and says,

"Ladies and Gentlemen with volcano _Hinelu_ erupting, this side of the island will be closed but I have been assured that it is perfectly safe on the other side. Please, enjoy your stay on our great island"

Lucy then says,

"See?"

{

The trio stand in front of a great mountain after getting off a bus and Lucy sighs and she says,

"Oh, isn't this great!"

Ethel looks at her then says,

"Yeah, we only had to change buses three times to get here"

"Ohhhh"

Lucy throws her hand then she asks,

"I wonder how we get to the beach ?"

Ethel reads a sign in front of her that says _'Paololu Beach' _ and it gives directions to get down to the beach and Ethel says,

"This tells us…."

Ethel then reads it and says,

"We have to take a 20 minute hike down to the beach! Lucy!"

Lucy then says,

"Come on Ethel! Fred! How many times are we going to get to take a hike in Hawaii?

This will be great! We can do it in this fresh air!" "Well…."

Ethel and Fred look at each other then get up to follow Lucy and she says,

"Yes sir! This will be great for us!"

{

Finally at the end of the long trek, Ethel takes off her shoes and sits down on a bench with Fred. Lucy takes some deep, heavy breaths then says,

"Look at that view!"

Ethel says harshly,

"Look at our feet!"

Lucy turns and looks at the small blisters forming then says,

"You can go soak your feet in the water. These waters are very warm and soothing, volcanic ash and rock made this sand black"

Ethel goes over and stands in a shallow pool of water and says "Ahhhh!"

Lucy and Fred walk around. Fred takes pictures of the beautiful roaring waves, the black sand. Lucy squishing her feet in the black sand and Ethel comes over and Fred starts to take a picture but a very sexy woman in a tight one piece comes by and Fred watches her with the camera and Ethel says,

"Fred!"

He turns back around and takes their picture.

They walk around and take in the sights, smells and sounds of the island. Just then they come to a large body of murky, muddy water like and Lucy asks,

"What's this?"

Ethel says,

"I don't know but whatever it is, it sure doesn't smell good"

Lucy sniffs and makes a face then says,

"It sure doesn't does it? I still wonder…."

Just then Fred takes some seaweed off a old splintered sign and reads it and hollers,

"Hey! It's quicksand!"

Lucy turns to him and asks,

"Quicksand!"

She doesn't realize how she has turned her foot and she loses her balance, Ethel tries to catch her but she falls in the sinking mud with a ugly sounding splat. She hollers,

"Ethel!" "Lucy!" Ethel screams. Lucy then hollers out,

"Get something! Throw to me to pull me out!"

Ethel and Fred look around and they don't see anything and Ethel says,

"Honey! I don't see anything!"

Fred then says,

"I'm going to get help!"

He starts to run down on the beach looking for somebody and Ethel sees something in a rock and she says,

"I see something Lucy! Hold on!"

Ethel runs and get this long piece of rope that she sees just laying on beach wedged between some rocks. Ethel goes over to get the rope and she runs back to Lucy and throws it to her and Lucy pulls and pulls on it and….pulls Ethel in. Both of them are

covered in the icky, smelly, gooey quicksand and screaming for Fred, for help.

**A/N—Will Lucy and Ethel get out? Tune in for the next chapter to find out!**


	4. Chapter 4 Food fight in Hawaii

Lucy and Ethel were still screaming and crying when Fred came back with a big Hawaiian man, the Hawaiian man is big in both size and muscles, he looks down and Fred says,

"I bought someone to help us!"

Lucy cries out,

"Oh, thank you Fred! Throw us something to help us out!"

The Hawaiian man says,

"There's no need for that, just calm down and wiggle your legs out!"

Ethel says,

"We're sinking!"

The man says,

"No, you are not, stop and look. You are just up to your waist! Hollywood just makes it worst than it is"

Ethel and Lucy stop and see how the murky mud only stops at their waist and they laugh and slowly wiggle out and the Hawaiian man and Fred help the ladies out.

Lucy and Ethel laugh and shake his hand and Lucy says,

"I'm sorry for acting like that, I just thought I was going to die!"

The man waves it away then says,

"That's okay, if you have never been around quicksand, that's what you think"

Ethel asks,

"Why does Hollywood make it seem worse?"

The man shrugs his shoulders then says,

"To make it scarier than it is, to make money"

Lucy says,

"I suppose so but I sure am glad Fred got you" Then Ethel says,

"Oh Lucy we are so dirty and smell but I hate to walk all the way back to the hotel"

Fred then says, "And I doubt they will let you on the bus smelling like that"

Ethel shakes her head and says "He's right" and Lucy asks,

"What will we do?"

The Hawaiian stranger says,

"You're in luck, there's showers down there and you can buy clothes at the gift shop"

Lucy and Ethel say,

"Oh, thank you!"

They all start to leave but somehow Lucy gets her feet caught in with the stranger's and he falls into the pit of quicksand. The trio then helps him out.

[

Later, Ethel and Lucy come out of the women's dressing room all clean, in bright new clothes and sparkling smiles. Fred comes out of the men's in a bright blue Hawaiian flowered shirt and Ethel says,

"Fred! You look like a tourist!"

He says back,

"Well, I am!"

Ethel and Lucy just shake their heads and Ethel says,

"Thank you Lucy for buying these outfits for us"

Fred says,

"Yes, thank you Lucy"

Lucy think but doesn't say it,

'_Yes, you big cheapskate'_

But she does say out loud,

"It was all on Ricky, everything's on Ricky!"

They all laugh then Ethel says,

"I'm hungry"

Fred makes a face then says,

"You're always hungry Ethel"

She looks at him and taps her foot then says,

"I'm serious, we have done a lot today and really haven't eaten"

Lucy says,

"Yeah, I am too and it's still a few hours until Ricky's show" "Let's get a little something Lucy" says Ethel

Lucy then says,

"Okay"

Fred then looks up and says,

"We'll have to climb back up to get to somewhere"

Lucy and Ethel both look up and sigh then Lucy says,

"Come on"

They all three turn and go back up the walkway to leave the beach.

{

The trio walk down the a sidewalk and Lucy fumes and turns around and says to Ethel and Fred,

"Imagine! That bus driver not letting us on because he said we still smelled!"

Ethel tries to calm her best friend down by saying,

"Well, that shower we took back there wasn't the best. What we probably both need is just a good soaking in a bathtub"

Lucy says "Maybe" then Fred looks up and sees a sign then says, "Hey, look!"

They all look up and see a diner sign that says **'Tatu Wahine food' **then Ethel asks,

"Isn't Tatu Whine Hawaiian for Grandmother?"

Lucy says,

"I think so, come on, let's go try it out"

Ethel smiles and says,

"Yeah, you can't go wrong eating a Hawaiian grandmother's food, can you?"

Everybody shakes their head no and go in and sit down and a waitress comes over and gives them a menu and Lucy says,

"I'm going to try this _Ahi Poke Salad"_

Ethel looks at it and says,

"That looks good, I'll try it too….Fred?"

He looks at the menu then says,

"I think I'll try this grilled_ Ahi sandwich"_

The waitress comes over and they give them the orders.

Later, after they eat the food, Lucy gets up to go to the bathroom. And Lucy being Lucy, trips into a man who backs into another person, that person falls onto a plate full of food and then when he stands up he falls into somebody else with a short temper and that person picks up a pie and throws it at the first man by way of a duck. Pretty soon misunderstandings happen and a huge food fight breaks out in the diner!

Lucy crawls back to her table and innocently looks at Ethel and Fred who just shake their heads. Fred signals for them to come on and a plate of mashed potatoes just barely misses Ethel so she and everybody else gets on their hands and knees and she, Fred and Lucy crawl out.

Lucy opens the door and they crawl out and then they stand up and Ethel says,

"Boy! We just missed that!"

Lucy says,

"Didn't we? And we didn't get our new clothes dirty!"

Just as Fred stands up and starts to close the door, a pie hits him in the face and Lucy and Ethel make a sympathetic face.

**A/N—I did do research and from what everything I read, Hollywood does portray quicksand wrong, you won't sink, just go up to your waist but it does stink!**

**Please read and review.**


	5. Chapter 5 A Evening with Lucy

**A/N-A BIG shout out to Sapphire Dawn and Dr. Michaela Quinn who have both read this story, You guys rock! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as love writing it!**

Lucy, Ethel and Fred hurried back to the hotel to get ready for Ricky's show. Lucy and Ethel both took long, luxurious baths. Fred , of coarse was grumpy about Ethel's long bath.

Lucy came out in a beautiful black and white satin evening dress for the evening and Ethel had on a darling light pink evening dress.

When Lucy saw her best friend, her eyes brightened at seeing her in a new dress and she said,

"Oh Ethel! You look stunning!"

Ethel beams and she says,

"Thank you Lucy"

Fred grumbles in a voice low enough for just Ethel to hear,

"Should be for what it cost"

Ethel lightly hits him on the arm and he says,

"But the cost doesn't compare with your beauty darling"

Ethel eyes her husband with skepticism but she and Lucy gather together and talk some more about their dresses then Ricky calls her over,

"Lucy!"

Lucy and Ethel go over to him and Ricky is dressed in his best tuxedo and he says,

"Lucy, I want you to meet someone"

Just then, a man comes from the corner of the room. The same young handsome Hawaiian gentleman who helped Lucy and Ethel out of the quicksand and Lucy

tripped in the same mud!

Lucy and Ethel look at each other in shock and Lucy wants to crawl under some-

thing and Ricky says,

"This is Makani Hekekia, he's going to be in the show with me tonight"

Lucy mumbles,

"Nice to meet you"

He takes Lucy's hand and shakes it then he says,

"Nice to see you again Mrs. Ricardo"

Ricky looks confused then asks,

"You two have met?"

Makani smiles and says,

"Yes, your wife and I met earlier on the _Black Sandy Beaches_. We had a short conversation about the beaches. I didn't know who she was until now"

Ricky beams with pride then says,

"Well, let's go on and start the show"

Lucy and Ethel look at each other in amazement and they all go and sit down at the table.

They sit down and Ricky goes up on the stage and he says,

"Hello, my name is Ricky Ricardo and this is my band. We have come all the way from New York to play Latin music for you"

The audience goes crazy clapping for them and when the claps die down, Ricky says,

"And this is someone you may know, this is Hawaii's own Makani Hekekia!"

The crowd goes wild again and when the claps die down he says,

"Makani is going to join us on a few songs later in the night but first…."

Someone throws Ricky his bongo and he starts out with 'Babulu' and all his other songs that he sings at his nightclub back in New York but then Makani comes out and the audience goes wild again and they sings such popular Hawaiian songs as _**'Nakaleli'-Lei Pikuke-The Queen's Prayer-Pearly Shells and Songs of the Island' **_and many others.

After it was all over, Ricky, Lucy, Ethel and Fred go back to Ricky and Lucy's grand hotel room and they all 'oooh' and 'aaaah' over the evening. Lucy says,

"Wasn't that a great show!"

Ethel says;

"I'll say! And wasn't that Makani Hekekia a great guy?"

Lucy says, "Oh, yes!"

Ricky then asks,

"Lucy?"

She looks at him and asks,

"Hum?"

He stands up and says,

"You know, except for that debooth …."

Fred and Ethel look at each other and Ethel says,

"Um, Ricky, I think you mean debacle"

Ricky says,

"Yeah, that…except for that, I haven't heard of you causing any kind of trouble here, I'm proud of you"

She smiles innocently and she and Ricky hug while Fred and Ethel look at each other.

The 3 of them know the truth. It was your typical Lucy vacation.

**A/N—Let's see # 1—Lucy may or may not have caused a volcano to erupt. # 2—She and Ethel fell in quicksand and Ricky ( unknown to him ) had to buy them all new clothes. Not only that, caused Makani to also fall in quicksand. # 3-Lucy also caused a food fight in a local diner.**

**Vacation with Lucy? PRICELESS**

**The End.**


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